Lately, I've been thinking about my dad a lot. His birthday is coming up and there on the horizon, of course, is the great monolith that is Christmas...looming. Why are parents, dads in particular, so hard to shop for?
So I've been thinking about my dad and wondering what keen little tidbits have been grabbing his attention lately -- hoping that a gift idea will not just grab me, but knock me over. And one did.
Just last night my dad dropped the idea right on me, and he didn't even know it. Bear with me...let me tell you a little about my dad first.
Dad is a member of the NRA. He's never owned a gun in his life -- the antique rifle, a hand-me down that belonged to some great-grandfather, which resides in the back of his closet doesn't count. My dad just believes in the Constitution and most definitely in the Second Amendment.
So being who and what he is, he reads his monthly NRA magazine Freedom, every page. But my dad has never been one to just accept things; he questions everything, perhaps looking for a better way. And this is the crux of the conversation that inevitably brought me the gift solution.
While dicing up onions for our weekly chalupas, my dad began to tell me about the latest edition of Freedom in which six life-threatening experiences were discussed -- four involved attempted home invasions, one attempted burglary of a small business, and one attempted car theft. Out of these six incidents, four of the criminals were killed and two wounded -- and miraculously, only one victim was hurt.
Dad and I always like to hear about the good guys coming out on top, yet something was bothering my dad this time.
Hmm, a little strange. Dad isn't soft on crime, so what could be bothering him?
"Simple," he says. "People shouldn't die for dumb mistakes."
Okay. That's true.
"But Dad, those people died committing a crime, and what about the victims? Don't they have a right to protect themselves and their property?" I asked.
"Well, of course. But there has to be a better way. I just know that if it was me that had killed some sneaky, lowlife burglar, I would feel bad about it...,"Dad said letting his answer just kind of drift off like his thoughts.
Maybe Dad was finished with the subject, but I was just getting started. My brain was lit up like a Christmas tree -- I had an idea, finally. I had my gift solution.
What do you give a guy, your dad, who already has almost everything, who's a member of the NRA -- but doesn't own a gun? Oh, man. It was so crystal clear to me, almost blinding with the sparkles...a Taser!
What? Yeah, really. A Taser. It is perfect. A Taser is non-lethal and more effective than a 9mm handgun, that is, it knocks down that pesky criminal faster, harder, and more completely than a 9mm handgun.
And the best part? That pesky criminal won't be getting up again any time soon thanks to Electro-Muscular Disruption Technology (sounds a little Star Trek-ish, doesn't it?); a Taser actually over-rides your target's central nervous system. (I can almost hear Capt. Kirk now "Phasers on stun.")
But the absolute, best part...my dad would be able to defend his home and himself and still have a clear conscience.
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